Do you still have your period?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
