U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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