Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
