yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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