No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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