Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize