You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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