her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize