i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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