Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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