just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
