I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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