Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
of course. lets lasso hookers.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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