I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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