I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
