YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
