bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
The best revenge is premature balding
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
