Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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