I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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