He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Randomize
