It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
