her vagine was all disorganized.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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