Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
