Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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