the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
