we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
