after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
And then he peed in my hair
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
