dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
