why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
ok first of all what the fuck
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
