I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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