You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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