Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
