Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Sext me about skeletons
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize