i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
