Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
