About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Randomize