I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Randomize