my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
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