is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Randomize
