there was a trapeze. enough said
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
