On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Randomize
