There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
