I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
My pussy is not your playground.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
