i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
