You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize