She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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