When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Randomize
