Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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