Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
