You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
