Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
