I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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