There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
