google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize