Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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