I will die if light touches me.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
