Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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