At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I love having hate sex.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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