My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
