I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
