How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize