Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
